No Wonder the Royals will Never Win...

"I've overcome a lot of stuff. I've learned a lot this year as a person and as a player," Butler said. "I've come a 360 turn."-Quote by Billy Butler of the Kansas City Royals

Well Billy, your analogy would explain why the Royals haven't had a playoff appearance since 1985.

"I'll Never..."

Often in Christian circles, people joke that if you say "I'll never do such and such." God will often lead you and place you in that situation. (I am still waiting for my "I'll never go to Hawaii on vacation." statement to come true.) In my life, I have seen this as a truth, not because I am willing God to do something, but rather that God sees that when I say 'I'll never', I am really saying I am scared or uncomfortable at the thought. My heavenly Father desires me to be more like Him and His image, so thus, He often will place me in situations that I would have never chosen or sought out.

So I thought as I celebrate the first 30 years of my life on this earth, to share a few of my 'I'll never statements' and what God taught or did in me through them.

-I'll never live in the state of Kansas. I did, for a whole year. Now I formerly made jokes about Kansas since after all I am from Missouri. But God moved me to go and teach at a Christian school in which I lived the hardest year of my young life. Yup, painful and very humbling as I grew so much. So in spite of my unwillingess to move to Kansas, God did and for that I am grateful.

-I'll never be married. Now this one I said more out of desperation than repulsion to the idea. I honestly thought that God wasn't this good. I was not being satisfied in Christ but rather drowning in my own self pity. And now that I have passed the 6 month marriage mark, I can honestly say I am so thankful for my marriage. However, I see as God taught me then, I am complete in Christ and no earthly relationship will fill my relationship with Him.

-I'll never own a car. This statement was again made when I was single and finally satisfied in Christ. But then God turned my world upside down with a wife and now expecting a child. Guess what? A Dodge Dakota pickup is not a family vehicle. Ugh. Time for a car. Before I could say a prayer to ask Father for a car, poof, there one was, right in my hands. Go God. And yes, I like our Pontiac Grand Prix, even after I mushed the muffler a month after buying it because I am used to the clearance of a truck. (Praise God, it is fixed now) :-)

-I'll never carry a credit card unless I can pay it off at the end of the month. Oops. Again, all about me and not about trusting God and being a good steward. I did carry it and used to, pick up loose costs each month, but did not pay it off. Not my brightest moment. Soon what was a little debt grew to a good sized debt. My fault, plain and simple, and yet God moved on my heart to admit and seek reconcilliation with Him. By His grace alone, I move forward, wiser and possessing a better idea of stewardship and that all I have is His, not mine.

Well those are just a few of my thoughts and bad conclusions. This life is not about me and my decisions; it is about God and what He wants to do through me. When we make statements like "I'll never..." we only demonstrate our absolute self centeredness and lack of willingness to trust our heavenly Father for His goodness and mercy.

"Its all about you, for your glory and your fame...Its not about me, as if you should do things my way. You alone are God and I surrender to your will."

Three Weeks Down, A Lifetime to Go

Three weeks ago today, May 31, I was married to the most incredible woman in the world. How do I begin to share the wondrous blessing of marriage that has come upon my life? Excited doesn't cover it. Thrilled, not even close. Yahoo...getting warmer. You see, one can imagine for years the blessing and thrill of something but until you actually experience it, then and only then can you really understand.

All of my life, I knew God was good. I mean God is good, good God, God=good, etc. I was raised in a Bible teaching home where this was an assumed fact in all conversations. Another assumed fact that I was raised with was God is love, God loves me, and God=love. But 10 months ago, I saw a different side of God's goodness and love that I never truly grasped or conceived possible in my life: a wife. When I turned 29 last year, I never imagined that before I turned 30, God would bring me an incredible woman to spend my life serving Him. Yet, as I type, a shiny titanium ring sits upon my left hand, proclaiming that on May 31, 2008 at 2:29 PM EST, I married my best friend!!

Too often in my life, I truly underestimate God. I proclaim His name, read His word, but fail to truly grasp the character of God. As a child, I heard and received God's precious gift of salvation from sin. By grace, through faith, not by my works, God saved me and made me His child. (Eph. 2:8-9, Titus 3:5-6, Romans 6:23) Hearing the truth of God's word over and over can have a numbing affect on oneself if one does not constantly renew his mind. Thus, after many years of living life, I had become numb to the truth that God saved me, loved me, and wanted to share blessings with me. Only now at 29, have I begun to realize that I have created a storage unit for God in my life. "God goes here and does this because that is my vision of God." Unfortunately for this near sighted child of God, I was wrong, dead wrong.

So what does this have to do with my three week old marriage? Simply put, I had boxed God in and assumed what I knew God would do rather than walking by faith. I headed off to train for the mission field last August, bound and determined that I knew God and His will for me. Well, I did, sort of. The greatest truth that I have realized since then is two fold: 1. God can never violate His character and 2. God will act according to His character and His perspective on time. Thus, I knew that God was good and loving, but I severely underestimated just how deep His goodness and love went. I had already received from Him the most precious gift in life: salvation from sin. But God saw that it was not good for this man to be alone, and he blessed me with a wife.

I could have lived the rest of my life single and satisfied, really. But God, in His great wisdom and love, gave me a partner and best friend to share every aspect of this life for the rest of my days. She is precious, beautiful, patient, but above all she is a gift from God. So on this the three week anniversary of our wedding, I want to honor the Lord and thank Him for the two most life changing events in my life: salvation from my sin and marriage.

To my loving wife, may I truly love you as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her. I love you and will always be grateful to God for the privilege and honor of being your husband.

Lookin Good at 37 years!

They were young and full of life when they met at BMA camp oh so many years ago. He was on active duty with the Army and knew that within the next year, he would most likely be headed off to war. Their was only a little gap in his schedule, but it was indeed the hand of God that placed him at that camp, filling in and helping out. At the adult coffee break one night, he spotted her, doing what my mother has continued to do, serving others. Though there are many more details one could expound upon, one need only know that the chase was now on for him. He saw her and pursued her. By Christmas of 1970, the deal was settled with a solitaire diamond ring slipped upon her ring finger. The soon to be groom took his 'Tammy Wynette' home to meet the family and soon the bride to be began to see just what kind of a family she was marrying into. A July wedding was planned. The young 19 year old bride to be continued her classes as a nurse while the 22 year old groom served at Ft. Leonardwood awaiting the day in which Uncle Sam would call him overseas.

The call came but not as the young engaged couple planned. Uncle Sam wanted him and he wanted him right after their planned wedding. Rather than marry and ship off to war a couple of weeks later, they moved the wedding up and were married, 37 years ago today, April 10. Thus, the newlyweds were married three months before the new groom was off to a foreign land ready to wage war pushing papers for Uncle Sam. Though this beginning was not the most desirous of circumstances, their young marriage began a pattern that would lead them through the next 37 years: by faith and trusting God for the next turn.

Throughout the next three and a half decades, this couple walked with each other, walked with God, and led their children into their own walks with God. Their would be the mountain top experiences of five children blessing their home, while in the valley they buried their first son. Their would be the mountain top experience of finishing seminary and getting their first pastorate while in the valley they questioned why God moved them out of their second pastorate so abruptly. Their would be the mountain top experience of four children graduating Bible college while in the valley they adjusted to an empty nest. Their would be the mountaintop experience of holding their first couple grandkids, but in the valley they bid farewell to their grandkids for the next four years while their parents were missionaries overseas. God was faithful to them time and time again as they walked with Him.

As they stand on the cusp of a fourth decade of life together, this observer is overwhelmed at the example that has been laid before him and his sisters. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, this couple has fought together, cried together, and walked romantically hand in hand together for thirty seven years. Where God will lead them in the next few years, only He knows. This is for certain: they will faithfully walk with God following His leading one day at a time.

So, to my parents on this their 37th wedding anniversary, my message is two fold: the first is congratulations on keeping the commitment alive through all of the joys, trials, and tribulations that God has allowed. The second, is thank you for laying out what commitment really is and what the Bible talks about when it speaks of true love. Lookin good at 37 years, Mom and Dad!

With all of My Love,

Your only Son

Life is Hard, But God is Good

God brought to mind a kind of ugly time in my life when I was the leader of a summer music team. I had the privilege of leading a 6 member guy-girl team on a tour singing in churches and concerts from Illinois to California and back. I was young, (22) arrogant, and pretty stupid. The team consisted of 4 women and two guys. (counting myself) One of the gals mom's had been battling cancer and had been making good progress. Just after school let out, her mom took a turn for the worse. She went home for a week but than returned to start our week of intense music rehearsals as a team. (think music boot camp: singing 4-5 hours a day) So she sang and prepared all of the while not knowing if she would see her mom this side of heaven.

Thus our team began its fearless 9 week tour with the knowledge that this gal's mom may die soon and we may be short a member at some point. Being the poor leader that I was, I didn't bother to really pray and really encourage this gal on our team as I should have. And than one morning, we gathered back at the church from where we had been staying the night before, and this gal was gone. Her mom had passed away in the night and she had caught an early morning flight home. Thus, the tour continued without her for almost a full week and she returned. We honestly thought she wouldn't return, but she wanted to and did.

During our concerts, we would rotate singing solos between all of the singers on the team. Sometime after this gal returned to our team, it was her turn. She got up and started sharing a brief testimony of her mom's death and then began to sing. I had heard her sing the song before her mom's death, but for some reason, this night, the message clicked. The song was called "Life is Hard, But God is Good." All of these years later, I stand in awe of this gal who sang truth when it wasn't easy to sing truth. Her testimony was truly of the Lord and a real inspiration to me. I wish I could say that I was the most sensitive and godly leader and encouraged her with how God had used her in my life; I didn't say it. (Sidenote: I just sent her an email sharing this story with her today.)

It has been seven years since that tour occurred and I still remember that night as if it was last night. That song has stayed with me and this week has become my heart's cry. The truth that she sang and gave testimony of is the truth of God's word. My life right now reflects that title. Life is hard with so many trials in my family, my home church, my personal life, as well as with training. But the fact of the matter is that God is Good in what he chooses to bring into my life and those lives of people I love and care about. Through tears, I share the words of David as he too struggled with life but rested in God's sustaining power.

I relied completely on the Lord, and he turned toward me and heard my cry for help. He lifted me out of the watery pit, out of the slimy mud. He placed my feet on a rock and gave me secure footing. He gave me reason to sing a new song, praising our God. May many see what God has done, so that they might swear allegiance to him and trust in the Lord!

I am oppressed and needy! May the sovereign Master pay attention to me! You are my helper and my deliverer! O my God, do not delay! (Psalm 40:1-3, 17) (NET)

Here is that song. The video is okay, but the music is what I truly enjoy.

I am Engaged!!

October 27, 2007 marked the beginning of a new chapter: I got engaged. She and I met as students at the NTM Training Center. See some pics. More info to come later.