"I'll Never..."

Often in Christian circles, people joke that if you say "I'll never do such and such." God will often lead you and place you in that situation. (I am still waiting for my "I'll never go to Hawaii on vacation." statement to come true.) In my life, I have seen this as a truth, not because I am willing God to do something, but rather that God sees that when I say 'I'll never', I am really saying I am scared or uncomfortable at the thought. My heavenly Father desires me to be more like Him and His image, so thus, He often will place me in situations that I would have never chosen or sought out.

So I thought as I celebrate the first 30 years of my life on this earth, to share a few of my 'I'll never statements' and what God taught or did in me through them.

-I'll never live in the state of Kansas. I did, for a whole year. Now I formerly made jokes about Kansas since after all I am from Missouri. But God moved me to go and teach at a Christian school in which I lived the hardest year of my young life. Yup, painful and very humbling as I grew so much. So in spite of my unwillingess to move to Kansas, God did and for that I am grateful.

-I'll never be married. Now this one I said more out of desperation than repulsion to the idea. I honestly thought that God wasn't this good. I was not being satisfied in Christ but rather drowning in my own self pity. And now that I have passed the 6 month marriage mark, I can honestly say I am so thankful for my marriage. However, I see as God taught me then, I am complete in Christ and no earthly relationship will fill my relationship with Him.

-I'll never own a car. This statement was again made when I was single and finally satisfied in Christ. But then God turned my world upside down with a wife and now expecting a child. Guess what? A Dodge Dakota pickup is not a family vehicle. Ugh. Time for a car. Before I could say a prayer to ask Father for a car, poof, there one was, right in my hands. Go God. And yes, I like our Pontiac Grand Prix, even after I mushed the muffler a month after buying it because I am used to the clearance of a truck. (Praise God, it is fixed now) :-)

-I'll never carry a credit card unless I can pay it off at the end of the month. Oops. Again, all about me and not about trusting God and being a good steward. I did carry it and used to, pick up loose costs each month, but did not pay it off. Not my brightest moment. Soon what was a little debt grew to a good sized debt. My fault, plain and simple, and yet God moved on my heart to admit and seek reconcilliation with Him. By His grace alone, I move forward, wiser and possessing a better idea of stewardship and that all I have is His, not mine.

Well those are just a few of my thoughts and bad conclusions. This life is not about me and my decisions; it is about God and what He wants to do through me. When we make statements like "I'll never..." we only demonstrate our absolute self centeredness and lack of willingness to trust our heavenly Father for His goodness and mercy.

"Its all about you, for your glory and your fame...Its not about me, as if you should do things my way. You alone are God and I surrender to your will."