Signs You Have Been in the Hospital Too Long

Back in the second week of February, my sweet pregnant wife had to spend a week in the hospital recovering from a nasty kidney infection. As she lay sleeping, I got bored with the slow passage of time. Thus, I began to do what I do when I get bored and have a computer or paper handy: I write. So what began as a boredom breaker, has now become a post on this blog. So here goes...enjoy!
1. You have the nurses shift changes memorized and know that you better get things done before shift change happens or after.
2. You start to like the color of your hospital room. (Mauve is a color, right?)
3. You know that a good night’s rest is impossible till you get home.
4. You begin to rank everything in your life on a one to ten scale, ten being the highest.
5. You memorize the cable channels that are good to watch.
6. The cafeteria food begins to seem normally priced and full of flavor. (ever heard of salt?)
7. You challenge yourself to find a different route every time you go to the parking lot so you can see more of the hospital. (ooohhh, more vending machines. Twinkie, anyone?)
8. When you are told that the doctor will be by soon, you take a nap, eat lunch, read a book , because you know you have time.
9. The patient’s arm begins to look like a pin cushion and you hate hearing the words, “blood, draw, more lab work.”
10. Hospital gowns seem comfy and you begin to wonder where you could buy one for wearing at home.
11. You start comparing and contrasting the different nurses on the different shifts like ballplayers on a sports team.
12.Can you think of any more?